my boyfriend said i'm just like his ex

Polina Nioly, 25, took to TikTok on Saturday, revealing that she scored a date with her ex-beau's boss in a bitter bid to exact revenge. I hate calling her his wife but they aren't divorced yet. I got mad at him and dumped him 2 After you guys broke up, did you ever text him again? Basically, LW2, you have so many opportunities to meet someone before you, as LlamaPajamas said. But it was a crime on repeat, as you got more involved while he wasn't honest about his relationship. I'm scared it won't work never ordered a pizza to another country lmfao . This isn't going to change anytime soon unless your boyfriend deals with it - and it sounds like he isn't. My fianc and I live 35 minutes apart (until May, hooray!) The fuckboy boyfriend comes with a lifelong warranty. We need to be with someone who has a family who loves us and who thinks that our romance is a good idea. Instead of trying to force something that just isn't happening and never will, we should focus our energy on living our best life, being happy, and finding someone who does believe in commitment. 54. She thinks that kind of dependence on an ex's social media activity is a bad sign, especially if they use socials to communicate. Generally speaking, when I have a client that comes to me saying "My ex boyfriend is avoiding me and I have no idea what to do," it's often because some mistakes were made. Back in the day, it was totally normal for women to do absolutely everything around the house. LlamaPajamas Revealing that something you're doing reminds him of something he did with an ex is a sign that she's still affecting him in the present moment. But not everything is perfect. Writing this letter to boyfriend, expressing hurt feelings and telling him all this was harder than I thought it . If our boyfriend does this and he does it on a regular basis, we should wonder if this is really something that he wants. Caught my boyfriend in a lie and instead of talking about it, he dumped me. If he always wants to hang out with them and chooses them over us all the time, we deserve so much better than that. Over time, hearing this type of talk from the person that we're dating is only going to get under our skin and make us super insecure. muchachaenlaventana We'd like to take this time to remind users that: We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? WHY? Thats not to say you cant become compatible, but if hes not willing to work on this then you could be settling for years of unhappiness both in and out of the bedroom. Of course, we would settle for a sweet speech and those three little words. We need to take a deep breath and realize that, yup, this is what he means. 20K 1.4K You cannot be the other woman in your own relationship. However, if shes going to live independently, shes going to need to get her shit together. Now, not every guy is all about PDA, so please don't use this as the single measure of whether he's your boyfriend. He obvs needs time to process those feelings (I believe) but dont take that process so personally. It's possible that he actually wants to part ways but just hasn't worked up the courage to do so, and so instead of just being real and honest with us, he's going to bring it up another way. Yeah, right. then how is leaving her room any different? If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at wendy@dearwendy.com. I prefer something more artful and subtle, maybe a mixtape of Beatles tunes that allude to her needs in a general way: I Wanna Hold Your Hand, Please Please Me, Why Dont We Do It In the Road?, and finally Come Together. Im sure hell take the hint. The lack of whatever is desired is a dealbreaker. Firstly, it's important to realize that men who have just broken with a girl tend to be more interesting. Caring about yourself has to be a selfish act. Welcome to r/relationship_advice.Please make sure you read our rules here. Try to understand that it is not about you, it is about HIS feelings for his ex that existed prior to you and that are no reflection on you in any way. How were they forced?! Yes, of course, a couple needs to each see their friends. That doesn't necessarily mean he didn't love his ex at all. This is a very disrespectful and mean thing to say. Even if you ARE alike, it's no good. You're shocked, hurt, angry, confused, and maybe even lost. Yes. It has nothing to do with you - this kind of guy isn't interested in anyone - but himself. Honestly there's no perfect answer, but Ariana might have had the right idea in her song "Thank U, Next." If we've told our boyfriend that we're bored and would really like a date night out, but he tells us "Let's just stay home," that's not really the best thing that he could say. Being violent? I'll keep you guys updated! kerrycontrary But remaining in this relationship could do real damage to you, IMO, and you just have to put that first (as he should). As soon as the results come and show he is the father, I'm leaving him. But what I think he SHOULD be able to realize, after a year of dating someone else, and especially after being cheated on, is that his ex was not the love of his life. Rainingpopcorn5. I . Is her name on it? They are most likely sleeping together or something. Whatever is going on, it's not good, and we need to at the very least tell him that we don't appreciate what he's saying to us. When we try to make future plans, whether we want to plan a vacation or talk about moving in together, we don't want to hear from our boyfriend, "That's too far away.". 22,756. Whats he gonna say, Youre number two with a bullet, so hang in there, kiddo? This guy told you his ex was the love of his life. And that'll create a really negative, toxic environment within the relationship, which never leads to anything good. Looking at it logically, if your boyfriend truly thought you weren't "hot enough for him," he wouldn't be with you anymore. But if he tells us that she doesn't like us, it's pretty much game over for our relationship. Ndakachi master chi game ichi. can you just open your mouth and explain what you actually want? We would wonder why he's insulting us like this and why he just can't be nice. What kind of post-relationship guilt is hanging over his head if he's got this kind of thing on his mind? Tell him boy bye! Or, is he just going to "wait and see?". Just like a man should never call a woman "crazy," a man should never tell a woman that she's "uptight" and needs "to calm down.". Copyright 2023 Dear Wendy. 34. nessy I\'m in a situation with an annoying ex and been losing trust in him.feels like the relationship is making me more unhappy than happy now. I am so heartbroken. The cooking, the cleaning, the laundry -- it was a woman's domain. If I am not heartbroken, I don't really feel okay. He might say it during a fight, whether it's a big or small one, or he might just say it when we've shared a big dream that we want to follow or something that we want to make happen for ourselves. It's just really bad behavior and he honestly should know better. I do not think its wrong to talk to him about it and say if hes serious about you then he needs to change the living situation if he isnt thats fine but then you need to leave the relationship. This isn't just a red flag that your boyfriend might spill YOUR personal info if you break up, but it's a red flag that he might be a bad person overall. Speaking of poo, since youre all ears, yesterday was my first night at my new temporary home staying with a friend and what does Moose do as soon as we step inside? I know everyones different, so the comparison might be unfair, but stilla horrible breakup doesnt have to haunt you forever. People who are selfish in bed dont usually make great life partners. "Some guys have physically broken up, yet haven't emotionally let go and they stay connected through conflict," she said. "At some point he's got to let those ties fall away," dating expert Susan Trombetti told Today. We watch rom-comsand see characters struggling to find the right words and the right time. It's easy to think that if our boyfriend tells us that either he doesn't believe in marriage or he doesn't want to get married that he's going to change his mind. Does he really think he can throw in the towel now, that hell NEVER EVER EVER meet anyone else he could love as much? When a boyfriend says this you have to wonder why. You want someone that won't speak negatively of you if things don't happen to work out. If you dont find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com. I think LW1 needs to move on. Its not your job to fix it - it's his (and hers). And no one wants family drama or arguments at Thanksgiving and Christmas, so yeah, we definitely hope that he's got a good mom. Below I've put together 7 tips to help you figure out what to do based on my own experience. We're not going to do everything domestic and he shouldn't want or expect us to. Your boyfriend was quick to write off his infidelity with you as a crime of passion. . It just seems to happen that way. 19 "I Don't Believe In Marriage". "His relationship with his ex-girlfriend is over and they will never be romantic again. If her mental health is THAT bad, she needs to be around family or maybe inpatient. 1. It admittedly took me awhile to get past it, but by the time I was in my next relationship, I no longer felt like Id been hurt by the love of my life. Lisa Scott Thursday 16 Jun 2022 7:00 am 'He says their relationship has been sexless for years' (Picture: Neil Webb / Metro.co.uk) It's time for The Sex Column, our weekly advice series where. Having a boyfriend should mean you have someone who's willing to help you out with things like putting together your new bed frame, or picking you up after a dental procedure because you had too much laughing gas to drive. Sure, but here its not the case. When men tell their women that their suspicions or fears are all in their heads, it's called Gaslighting. With the heart, as with the bowels, number two is not a good thing to be. Krystill The foward option isn\'t working. March 14, 2014, 1:01 pm. Hes not a mind reader, you need to give him some specific instructions. Relationships are a two-way street. If he always makes these kinds of immature, mean comments, we should honestly take a long hard look at our relationship. Dont date a dweller. If that's the case, it's only a matter of time before that's exactly what happens. Being in a relationship means hanging out with that person a lot. He also might have issues with attachment and manipulation. 14. How he deals (or doesn't) with this is likely how he will handle issues that arise in your relationship and lives in the future - ask yourself, are you OK with that? Still, I agree with you, 6-7 years of frustration sounds horrible, if thats the real timeline. Is he needy? Natalie agrees that some things are better left unsaid. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Maybe LW3 and her boyfriend were together for many years before having sex? It will show you if he's been active on any dating sites since you broke up, or who he's frequently been talking with, and it will give you a good idea if he's seeing someone else. . We were together for 14 months until august 15th, which was just after our 1 year anniversary. Addie Pray March 14, 2014, 11:48 am. 1 Who ended the relationship? It doesn't mean that we have to dump them ASAP, but it might not mean that we're going to get the grand love story that we've been dreaming of. Is there a plan? Is this the kind of person that we want to be with? Mental health. Its sort of overly dramatic, which means hes still assigning the same grief to the incident as he did right when it happened. Maybe he's exaggerating, and it's true that he really didn't love her as much as he feels like he loves his new girlfriend. Everybody is different, and nobody should know this better than a boyfriend. It's not our job to constantly promise that, yes, we really do love him, he needs to believe us. First of all, what the hell does that even mean? Oh man. Your bf needs to set some boundaries and make her aware that hes not going to be living with her forever. During the no- contact time with an ex, don't try to run behind your boyfriend as everything will still be too fresh. In reality, the guy who calls girls crazy is the same guy who won't take you or your feelings seriously. But we never want to hear a guy compare us to his exes. . It just might not be what we want to hear. It's really best to just believe that if a guy says this, the relationship isn't going anywhere, and we need to move on and find someone who would never dream of saying this to us. NBC. Maybe he still has her as one of his followers on an old Twitter account. But I agree with you, she needs way more than my boyfriend can provide, and its not fair to expect this of him. We get that some people have 'a type.' You want to date someone you trust, right? I really missed him Of course not He texted me first and I didn't want to be rude 3 Do you ever see him? So, you're wondering whether you should confront your ex about all this. 23K 4.4K Training-Noise-9549 6 days ago My wife is dead. In fact, it's basically the worst thing that he could say. Sure, you are never totally sure of your status right away. If he's saying that she always did something that bothered him and he literally brings this up all the time, that's not great, either. We one-hundred-percent agree. 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Has a family who loves us and who thinks that our romance a!